in the name of science

Her: Look! Pita Puffs!! I LOVE pita puffs!!!
Me: ? I remember those. But why are you so excited?
Her: They don't SELL them in Ontario anymore...I LOVE THEM
Me: So? Get a bag
*she grabs two*
Her: I'm so happy.
*ten minutes later*
Her: Did you want anymore? You've only had a few.
Me: No...I'm good.
Her: 'cause I'm gonna eat the whole bag.
Me:... okay.
Her: I ate the whole bag. *lip smacking noise* I'm so happy"
*silence*
*sloshing*
Me: What are you...
Her: -- I'm gonna see if I can finish all this water too. Just to see if I can fit it all in me!
Me: um...that's a more than a liter of--
Her: It's a liter and a half! I'm gonna drink it and see what happens.
Me: *visualizing her vomiting up a bag of pita puffs and 1.5 liters of water all at once*
Me: oh god...

Fredericton

I'm here.
Surrounded by Hipsters.

...what!?

How did I get here?

There are times, when I wonder what the heck is going on.

I stopped for gas today. A homeless man teetered up to me on a bicycle with a basket on the front that was piled high with bottles and garbage.
He was grimy and his clothes looked about ready to fall apart. He beamed at me: "Nice bike chica!!"
I grinned back at him. He gave me a thumbs up and wobbled past.

Then, I rode my bike along-side a river, cut through some farmland with the mountains at my back as I made my way to Ladner...to teach martial arts to people that love to learn. It was then that I realized I've woken up in a dreamworld.

I think I like it here.

Oh dear

Him: Let me make you lunch.
Me: ... okay

15 minutes later

*FOOM*

Him: (in a tiny, tiny voice) "ooh dear"
Me:... that was an actual ball of fire.
Him: I think I'm ok.
Me: an actual BALL of fire.
Him: are my eyebrows still on? My arm hairs are a bit singed.
Me: A FIRE BALL!!!!! That was so cooL!! (yes. your eyebrows are fine).
Him: oh good.


Me: Those are scorch marks. On the ceiling.

Another List

Shorts: check
Bathing suit: check
A dress!?: check (you never know)
Jiu Jitsu Gi: check
Kayak trip: booked
Trip to the San Diego zoo: booked
New Neal Stephensen novel: check

now heading to Seattle to catch a red-eye flight to San Diego..toying with a day trip to Baja mexico...hrm...

I'll come back (eventually)

wee!

There is something incredibly satisfying about making my jiu jitsu teacher happy.
He's a simple kinda guy. Loves jiu jitsu. Fights semi-professionally. Has a grin from ear to ear when you pull off something unexpected.

The first time it happened I managed to shoulder roll my opponent out of turtle position, and dropped him into my back-mount. Reggie freaked out: "That just happened!!!" he was grinning for the rest of class.

Today I pulled off a summer saulting (spelling?) guard pass and flipped out of it into cross-side. I didn't think it would work. But it totally did!
:D

Reggie freaked out: "Sheila! Sheila... whisper into his ear right now. Tell him 'That just happened'... yeah!"

Made my day.

(comic) relief

Me vs. Solitude

Me: Hey solitude. I sure love you.
Solitude: Sure you do. You spend so much time with me. You just looooove me.
Me: Why you gotta be so sarcastic all the time?
Solitude: Hm? sarcastic? me? I'm not sarcastic. I'm just bleeding away the prime years of your life behind your back and you haven't even noticed.
Me: What are you talking about?
Solitude: Oh nothing. Just... suckin' yer blood while ya sleep, that's all.
Me: What!?!?!
Solitude: Nothing! *innocent whistles* Just... thinking you're going to die alone.
Me: WTF!? ... fine. I'll go make friends.
Solitude:......

....
Solitude: SHEILA!!!!! I MISS YOOOOOU
Me: What the hell!? This was YOUR idea!? I only made these friends to shut your stupid mouth!
Solitude: BUT I NEEEEEEEEEEEED YOOOOUUUU!
Me: mother..Fu... GOD dammit. Why are you so CLINGY!?
Solitude: *sniff* come baaaack.
Me:... no
Solitude: Please?
Me: No. I'm having fun out here.
Solitude: I'll kill this puppy unless you come home.
Me:.... F@ck

...
Solitude: You DO love me!!
Me: Ugh. Stop cuddling my feet like that.