I do a lot of switching back and forth between the roles I fill.
On campus I'm a graduate student.
People answer my questions intelligently. They ask me my opinion as if it matters. Gender rarely comes into play and people with 10 times the learning and experience I have treat me like a human being. When I walk on campus, I have the feeling that I can contribute something (I don't know what yet, but something) to the working body of knowledge that the world is currently working with.
And then I step into a world in which gender inequity is assumed.
Where my 15+ years of experience is frequently ignored by some guy off the street who's never thrown a kick in his life; ignored, just because he's a guy-- and so probably knows better.
A place where 14 year old boys think its ok to say "But you're a girl" as an excuse for not following instruction, or for failing to execute technique properly when working with me (never in a traditional class...only ever in kickboxing. Maybe I should wear my belt in kickboxing?).
Where a 240 lb man that feels threatened in a round of jiu jitsu will get frustrated and throw all of his weight on my sternum in an effort to take control of the round. Because, heaven forbid he get tapped out by a woman.
I have 3 sublex-ed ribs right now as a result of this encounter. They stick about 3 centimeters up from where my chest-wall should end.
I'm working with a Chiropractor to coach them safely back into place.
When I roll with people that are smaller than me (rare, but it happens), my instinct is to keep them safe. To try to use technique to move around them without crushing.
I am horrified to think that I might ever be instructing people that instinctively want to crush the smaller person.
I really need to think about this.
I'm not claiming gender-based superiority. I'm protesting the ego-fueled disregard for how humans should treat humans. The martial arts have never been (should never be) about strong people hurting weak people. That's not it at all...
That sucks! Sorry to hear about your ribs. It's too bad that injuries are an inevitable part of training... Not that intelligence and following directions won't help avoid them, but there are always 'those times'.
ReplyDeleteIf the "instinctive" behaviour was a one time mistaken reaction, let it slide. If a 240 lb man is repeatedly using his weight to literally crush people, you should reconsider the acceptance policies of who your club allows into contact classes.
Last week I had an encounter with a teacher in a school who freaked out on me, in front of students, about something entirely irrational. When I calmly explained the situation to her (I was not in the wrong), she told me not to talk to her - "She is an educator!!". Um, hello? I'm clearly a teacher here; you're yelling at me in front of my kids. Do I not look like a grown up in jeans and a tshirt? Do I have to wear an ugly suit like you? Ugh. Misconceptions.