Success?

I rode my motorcycle to Oregon. It's a 6 hr drive... with all the stops (I can't drink a coffee and ride) and delays (traffic!), I didn't get there until 8:30 on Friday. I had left at noon. ugh.

The tournament (the Oregon Open) went well. I won gold in my division (there were enough women there to have actual Divisions by belt rank AND weight class! What the heck!?). I was also awarded "fastest Tap" because I made someone submit to a triangle from mount in 6 seconds in- apparently the fastest tap out of all the women of all ranks and weights at the tournament (for the record, the Men's fastest tap happened at 53 seconds into the round).
So I succeeded.

But I'm not sure I like competing. I'm not competitive. I don't care who's better, I care that we're both learning and having fun.

My coach told me to stop being nice to my competitors. He said "Be mean. You're too nice. I want to see some aggression".
During the round all I could hear was him yelling "TOO NICE SHEILA. Cross FACE! use your CROSS FACE!"
I don't like cross face. It's uncomfortable and I hate being in it. So I didn't use it (it's when you use your forearm across their face to control your opponents head)... apparently if I add it to my game, I'll win faster next time. And all the other competitors use it liberally.
Do I want to win faster?
...
I guess? I don't know.
I'm thinking.

Pictures to come when I get 'em.